“Don’t let the fear in, don’t let the hatred through the door and the fever like a spider walk your skin.” (Birds of Paradise by Your Vegas)
“You’re coming back for me, cause even though you left me here I have nothing left to fear these are only walls that hold me here.” (“Letters From The Sky” by Civil Twilight)
Music has always been more then just rhythm, beats and lyrics for me. It goes much, much deeper. In my life like most people I have been through many ups and downs. It has been a wide range of things that hit at many times for me. Everyone has something that has helped them get through hard times but for me it seems music is my chosen form of therapy. I truly believe and have felt the real healing power of music. Most people have at least once has a song that has moved them. For me I have had songs that still make me choke up due to content. For example it’s very hard for me to listen to “Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own” by U2 without tearing up. That song is because of the subject matter and context. Bono wrote it after losing his father to cancer. I lost my mother to cancer in 2003 and the words and song really hit me hard. It is a tough song to listen to because it brings back memories of her especially since I never really got closure due to the suddenness of losing her.
But at the same time it makes me feel closer to her too because we used to listen to bands like U2 and The Beatles (who she made me a fan of) when I would take her back and forth to the doctors sometimes. But there are also songs that have been therapeutic for me and helped heal my heart in sad times. I remember being drawn to loud rock music when I was a child as distraction when my dad was going through chemo. Or going back to listen to artists like The Bravery, Linkin Park and Chris Cornell when I lost my brother because they made me remember my brother Harold who passed suddenly from a heart attack in 2007. It’s like every time I hear “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” by the Beatles I smile because I remember my mom singing it to me when I was a kid. Then there is music that just comes into your life at just the right moment and the words and songs touch your heart so deeply they inspire you and give you the strength to move forward.
That is what happened in 2008 when I discovered two bands while on a road trip with a friend. I went to North Carolina with my friend Audrey to see the band The Bravery and left in love with the music of the band’s two opening acts Civil Twilight and Your Vegas. Their CDs got me through a really rough spell when I lost my Aunt. My Aunt Christine was the aunt I felt the closest to out of all my mother‘s sisters. She was also there for me even despite distance when I lost my mom. She was also partially responsible for my love of the Beatles too. My Aunt passed away the day I came back from the trip. I listened to the Civil Twilight and Your Vegas CDs and as cheesy as it sounds they gave me strength, hope and solace. As my family went through more hard times that year like pretty much everyone in my family losing their job. For one of my relatives the result of that was losing their home and becoming homeless for a while before asking for help. But through that process I listened to a lot of music that helped me cope, go through all the necessary steps in grieving and helped me not go insane.
But these two bands and their amazing CDs really struck a chord with me and touched me in a way no CD has before. I have since told both bands what their music meant to me too. But music hasn’t just been something I listened to lift me up during hard times but it also provided me great memories with those I have lost. It can bring release, escape, comfort and hope. Sometimes song lyrics are really like poetry set to music. They can relay other peoples misfortunes or heartaches which helps you relate even more to the words. But at other times it could just be the words resonate with you for some reason or touch your heart. Whatever it is, it is one of the biggest reasons I am so passionate about music and think sometimes musical therapy is the best therapy of all. For me music is like a good friend that has been there for me through not only the good but the bad and I’m sure will play an important role in my life for years to come.
